Finally my Picc line was removed on 16th April! I was so excited about it. This meant that Im one step closer to some kind of normal life.
I started slowly going for yoga and body balance classes at my local gym. My energy levels started to pick up a little. However my relationship with Rufus (my partner) was on constant up and down. We have split up on 8th april briefly but than realised it was hard being apart as we kind of relied on each other for emotional support and had a lot of common ground by now.
I ve decided to look for a new place to live. Everywhere I looked around me in my flat I had a reminders of chemo. It was a rented flat anyway and I felt like I needed a new fresh start.
Rufus than suggested we move to his flat. Considering there was lots of ups and downs in our relationships we both had a doubts as to whether this will work or not. So we agreed to try it out anyway .
In the meantime, I started going out a little more with my friends but was very self conscious about the way I looked. I just couldn't wait for my hair to grow. I felt comfortable in company of people I knew, people that were around me while I was going thru the chemo. Meeting new friends was difficult. As by this time I started getting my hot flashes and this made me even more self conscious. So I decided to be open with everyone I met. I would jokingly mentioned my hot flashes and tell a brief story about my cancer. People were more accepting this way and I guess it helped me deal with it better as well.
April was when I met my very good friend Bobby's girlfriend as well. We had a really great evening . She was very accepting and made me feel better about myself. She was the very first person I met outside my little "safe " circle of friends.
However hot flushes were no fun at all. When I get them and I used to have them at least about 20 per day I d be completely red ( like a lobster!) , sweaty and just wouldn't know what to do with myself. I felt at the times I needed to jump in a freezing cold pool ! My bed at night would be completely soaked in sweat ! and it was a little embarrassing at the times. Being close to my partner in bed would make me sweat even more ! There are times I wished I was living alone as my partner wouldn't have to see all this. It was so bad and I asked to be referred to menopause clinic. To be honest with you this was not of any use to me and I don't think Ive learnt anything new at all.
My recovery was going fairly well and my radiotherapy day was approaching soon
I ve been referred to radio department so they could do certain measurements and place and little location tattoos on my chest. These are done so they can locate exact area of my body they need to treat.
So my radiotherapy started on 25th April. They would do 25 sessions in hope to preserve skin damage. I did say I wanted to have reconstruction at the later date as well.
This was me on a rare " special day out" as me and my partner used to say (post chemo):
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