So Rufus took a day off to take me to the hospital. I was scared, I thought he was scared too but I was ever so lucky he was with me. They ve told me I was the second one on the list and in the meantime there are lots of medical forms, consent forms etc to be signed. They ve asked me to change into surgical gown and it was all happening so fast, like some kind of bad dream.
I was worried my mum would call so I told her I was working to keep my mind of the things, which was a lie to try and protect her as much as I could. She calls me every day and I thought by the time surgery was over I d be awake and ok to talk to her like nothing has happened, providing I don't die from general anaesthetic or potential complications from surgery ! I was so scared, everything was happening so suddenly, fast at head spinning rate….
They took me to the theatre. Surgery lasted for a couple of hours. When I came around Rufus was next to me. I smiled and thought I m alive. I was really glad he was next to me and helping me get thru this.
The most difficult thing I had to face was looking at my body, one of my parts was missing. Its all bandaged up an oddly shaped! How will Rufus accept this when he sees me in bed next to him? I had difficulties accepting it myself ! Will he ever want to sleep in the same bed as me ? It was a lot to deal with and I felt my head was absolutely overloaded. However all of it seemed to be out of my control.
Mum called in the evening as predicted. We talk to each other every day. I told her surgery was moved and they got me in quicker. She asked if I was ok and I said yes all is fine. I ve asked them to come and see me the next day as I ll spend the night at the hospital and visiting hours will be over by the time they arrive.
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