First day of my dreaded chemo ! The most horrible experience of my life ! My mum and dad were with me that day. I was trying to smile every now and than to give them a little encouragement that everything will be ok.
Firstly we had to wait for my PICC line to be inserted. This was a little tube placed in my upper arm thru which they inject chemo and it stays with you until you finish your treatment. You can shower but you cant get it wet and hospital provides you with a plastic shower sleeve that you put on and wear until you dry yourself completely so no water can get thru your little port
My little 24 hours and much of the nuisance when sleeping line:
The nurse who was doing it was so kind but she wanted to make me laugh. So we had a little chat and than she asked what I did for living. I said I was a dentist.
She said I hated years of those dental injections you dentist tend to give us patients and she said it was her payback time now ! We both giggled to that as I felt exactly the same.
I ve had so many injections by now and it really did feel like a payback time. I was trying to remember if I was a gentle dentist. However you cant know that unless patients tells you so. So i was trying to remember all those lovely thank you cards I used to get and compliments that injections i was giving didn't hurt. However there are others that possibly didn't like me at all. They saw me as a mean dentist which will cause them pain. I felt my nurse today was a mean nurse and I told her that and we both laugh and had some fun at this very grim situation.
After port is done they send you for chest xray to make sure its in the right place, close to your heart.
Soon after that it was time for my dreaded chemo...
They feed you with lots of pre operative medications, steroids, anti sickness medications, and than nurse sits with you for about an hour or two slowly injecting those horrible toxic drugs in your body. Its such a horrible feeling. I didn't like it , they didn't like injecting me with it but I was still doing it as I thought it would help me fight last bit of cancer that might have escaped in my body.
That day I felt so awful, drunk like and despite of all anti sickness meds I had, I ended up hugging my toilet and vomiting that evening.
The movie called ‘ DYING YOUNG ‘ with Julia Roberts reminded me of my bleak situation. Soon after that I ve decided to revisit that movie and watch it all over again.
Not something I d recommend when you re going thru this awful chemo!
Rufus emailed the next day to check if I was ok so I ve explained what was happening. I was so glad I had my mum next to me to hold me, cook for me, pamper me thru this difficult time.
1st chemo summary:
- FEC- T is given via intravenous route
- Steroids are given before chemo which might help stop sickness a little but they will keep you awake at night especially if given in the afternoon. They made me irritable and very angry!
- You ll be given anti sickness drugs but the first lot might not work well with you so in my opinion you should ask for something else if they don't work. I ve tried them all ! Metoclopramide is a good one to start with but doesn't work for everyone. Cyclizine is a good one. Aprepitant (emend) was the best one so far for me and Ondansetron but this one can block you up ! but its a good one
- You may want to prepare yourself for hair loss. This usually happens around 3-3 1/2 weeks after your first chemo. So it might be good idea to get a wig or bandana or whatever you feel comfortable with. I got my little tube hat - its cotton and really comfortable to wear.
My tube hat :
- However you can request a cooling hat. This is something you can request before the start of the chemo. Chemo nurses will tell you all about it but in short it cools down your head blood vessels and you might be able to keep your hair. However, waiting for chemo is longer, you might get headaches and its extremely cold ! I decided since I'm gonna have enough side effects from chemo I didn't feel I could deal with cold hat on my head for a few hours.
- Next day after chemo is usually ok but your bloods will be on a steady decline for the next few days. Fatigue will start to set in , 5-7 days later your immunity will be low so be sensible and avoid people with colds, crowds, etc.
- Neutropenia is something to watch for ! If your temperature goes above 38C even once ! you need to let the hospital know straight away day or night really ! don't wait in hope that it might get better just call them. That is why they are there 24/7. With my first chemo I ended up having temperature and had to go to the hospital. They will need to take your bloods, mine was done peripherally which meant more needles! My neutrophils were low but not too low to keep me in the hospital. I was given antibiotics to take home with me
- Try to take regular walks if you can. Even if you have to force yourself to do 15 - 20 mins walk, just do it. It will help with fatigue a lot. There were days where I just could move out of the bed but I d force myself to walk around the flat at least ! Its very important you do that. There is a risk of blood clots during chemo and you ve got to keep on moving
- Healthy diet, very important. Avoid sugar as cancer loooveees sugar !
- Avoid stress
- Each chemo cycle will probably reduce your energy levels by about 5 % at least.
- Nails paint them dark to stop sunlight damaging them further as chemo will be hard on them too.
This is an excellent guide to chemo booklet that you might find very useful:
http://cancerspot.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/ChemotherapyGuide_Spr12.FINAL-13.pdf
http://cancerspot.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/ChemotherapyGuide_Spr12.FINAL-13.pdf
So my mum stayed with me for the next 5 days until I pick up a little and than she d leave to London. My partner would than come over and stay with me until the next chemo.
My usual daily life was rather tiring and very boring. I d wake up, make myself breakfast, watch some telly, go for a walk in a near by park for 1/2 hr or so depending on my energy levels, come back home, have a nap, go and do food shopping than cook meal for me and Rufus, we d eat together, watch some more telly, we'd usually wash the dishes and we d go to bed … and than same old thing over again the next day …
End of December and end of my hair for now
With christmas coming up I started loosing my hair ! Previously I ve been told its easier to have your hair cut short so when you start loosing it its not so bad. WELL IT IS BAD I TELL YOU ! I ve noticed some hair on my pillow first but showering was the worst. Even gently running my fingers thru my hair would leave me with a size that most people would have in their hair transplant ! It was just falling out and it didn't need much encouragement.
I ve been trying to reassure myself by saying ah well its only hair. Its not until one weekend I asked Rufus to cut it really short with hair trimmer. I sat on the chair in the kitchen and he started cutting it for me. All I could see is my lovely hair falling on the floor. I wanted to shout stop but I knew that would not change anything. He kept on saying to me that its not too bad and that I look fine. He s never seen me with no hair and I was a little bit shy. However I ve never seen myself with no hair so I had no idea what I was gonna look like !
I went to the toilet to shower and to have a look and reassured myself I was ok. Few minutes later I started to cook and suddenly my emotions got better of me and I burst down in tears. He approached me and gave me a much needed hug. Seeing how my life has changed so quickly in the matter of weeks was just too much too deal with but I had no other option but to carry on hoping one day it will get better
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