When people say chemo is really hard ...I can tell you its serious understatement !
At the times I felt like an 80 yr old trapped in a body of 38 yrs old ! It was terrible. Your brain tells you you can do stuff but your body feels unable to do anything ! There is some serious miscomunication going on between your brain and your body !
I guess you get more frustrated that you can't do much. You re way too irritable to read, or watch tv or do anything. Your concentration span is very short.
I would have my good close friends coming around to see me but my attention span was close to zero at the times and chemo brain does exits ! its not a hoax. You feel like you have to write everything down otherwise you d forget.
My good old friend Malcom would buzz me just to give me flowers. So kind of him to do that. It was a nice way to bring a smile to my face :-) in all this darkness
Loosing eyebrows and my lovely long eyelashes was really bad. Once I lost those I felt like a proper chemo girl ! You couldn't hide it any longer. At the hospital they do course Look good, feel good where they teach you how to apply make up and make yourself feel normal but my eyelashes are now gone and that was difficult to hide.
This is me at my worst:
Id always make sure I wear my little tube hats at least when I had people visiting, even when Rufus was around Id wear my little hats in different colours as I felt so ugly and at the times I thought I d scare people away if they were to see me like this.... Emotionally its very draining. As not only you worry about your life and are fighting to survive you are also struggling to fit in the society and look normal at least !
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