Its amazing to think that when your life knocks you down there are people around you including parents, friends, our little dog etc to pick you up.
Since making my blog public and open to my friends and family I ve just been overwhelmed by their kindness, support, all the lovely messages, cards I ve received,etc....
People I ve known at some point in my life in the past, reached out to me and gave me much needed encouragement to carry on. We all like a little pat on our backs every once in a while but when you re ill you need it more than ever I suppose.
I m happy most people spared some time for me when I need them the most. Thank you my friends and family...
During my month off chemo I intended to enjoy my life and laugh and smile like never before. I was determined not to have anything get in a way of that.
I was gonna be brave and face some of my fears.
Now one of my long term fears, in fact since my diagnosis, was going to the cancer group. Those groups are there for the reason but to me it felt the moment I get there ... I ll be facing my grim reality. So I didn't go, until now.
When you surround yourself with "normal" people, people with regular lives and non terminal illnesses, you tend to feel more "normal" yourself. Cancer reality often hits me hard in the late hours of the night or when I'm waking up in the morning.
So I have learnt to distract myself with comedy shows or series in the evening before I go to bed, I write my blog at night as it lets me get those bad things out in the open and it unburdens me.
Times in between, I do have reminders of my cancer all around me but I try to shrug it off. Recently Ive enjoyed a touch of aromatherapy and would give myself permission to take a short naps in the afternoon to recharge and let the body rebuild its natural defences.
I also watch what I eat. I avoid sugar these days as cancer loves sugar (I cant believe I used to not only eat but inhale my chocolate bars like my friend Tesni says)
I do my green juices, eat plenty of veggy meals with occasional chicken or eggs.
Also there are those foods that unfortunately have a potential to boost your oestrogen. As my cancer is oestrogen driven I try and avoid certain things..
And occasionally I would have a little treat every now and then ....
However what I ve learnt so far is that the best things in life are free..
My cancer group experience:
So in May 2014 I finally took a first steps of going to the cancer group following couple of hours discussion on the phone with my best friend. We talked about therapy, psychology, group sessions etc and came to conclusion that those are not for everyone really. For some people it might work well, for others not so well but I decided to give a group session a try.
That morning I didn't see myself as a cancer person ...I ve seen myself as a person who has a job to do. Person whose job was to sit and talk and observe others with cancer. That was my coping mechanism I guess and everyone has one inbuilt within them. So that was mine.
I walked into this group session a little bit late to find a room full of women much older than me. Im not sure if there was anyone younger than age of 50 really. Immediately I felt out of the place. However, in a way it was really great for me. It gave me a sense of hope. Majority of the women present lived with their "terminal illness" for years...5+ years at least and some were celebrating 15+ years of "stable " disease. Huh i wish I could be that lucky i thought. They were a funny bunch of people as well but also there were a few things I ve learnt along the way too... we all had the same fears and worries regardless of our ages and we were all chasing our happiness and looking for things that make us laugh
Cancer doesn't discriminate between ages and everyone wants to live, whether you re in your 30s, 40s or 70s. Everyones life is precious.
After all 1 in 3 people will get cancer in their lifetime. My male friends don't forget to check your boobs as men can get breast cancer too ! Around 400 men are diagnosed with breast cancer each year in the UK. So keep checking those boobies no matter how small they are !
Look after yourself. You only have one life so treasure it and don't waste it
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